What's Torture Really Like (contains extremely graphic content and language. If this bothers you, DO NOT READ THIS)?

Welcome to our always growing international audience. As you well know (or if you don't know), here Trump and other powerful people think torture is a great thing. The new CIA Director nominee is a lifetime CIA covert agent and manager. She actually ran a torture black site and helped to destroy torture evidence. Now she's being rewarded with the top job.

For those who think torture works, I have first hand proof that it doesn't. In fact, just the opposite. The victim will do and say ANYTHING  to make it stop. NOTE. This post contains extremely graphic language and triggering content. If this bothers you, STOP READING NOW.

No? All right then. Let's continue.

I was repeatedly raped by three psycho pedophiles over a long period of time. They never got prosecuted. Their accomplices were never prosecuted. I can't get any victim compensation or file a criminal or civil suit against anyone.

I have complex disscoiative disorder (an extremely severe and incurable type of PTSD). Every day, I fight symptoms and to not black out from pain. I'm a firm believer in facing your trauma history head on as best you can. The surest way to make your pain worse is to hide behind denial.

One of the psychos drugged a meal and drink that I had. We went up into his room, and I felt like I had no control at all over my body or thoughts. I knew something was wrong. But I couldn't escape.

We took off our clothes and it felt like I was being remote controlled.

Nobody burst into the room.
No cops shot him and saved me.
Nobody brought in a rape kit.

Instead, he stuck his dick (unprotected) up my ass and I screamed. I kept screaming. Why is this happening? What did I do wrong? No way to escape. Nobody did anything.

Then we got into bed and he did it again. Again, nobody did anything to save me.

Since then, I've never had one day free of PTSD symptoms. I don't know what that's like.

Many counselors and therapists say don't let your attacker(s) control your life. I'm not. Instead, I'm facing my terror as best I can.

I am not strange.
I am not weird.
I am not mentally ill.
I am not a danger to myself or anyone else.
I am not a psycho pedophile.
I have no desire to torture, rape and kill innocent little kids.

PTSD is incurable. I'll never have a day free of symptoms. Instead, you try and cope as best you can.

Thanks for reading.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Day 19 of the Shutdown

A Long Day of Fighting Symptoms

Fighting to Not Fall Apart